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The number people stating that they "know someone who is gay" bothers me. I someone were to say, " I know someone who is black" wouldn't that in itself be viewed as a prejudice. My closest friend is a lesbian, and yes I see the irony in saying that, but point being is that is not what defines her to me, nor how I would introduce or refer to her. She is my friend. The typical circumstance that would cause me to refer to her as a lesbian would be to stop someone from foolishly doing or saying or doing something that would hurt her feelings.
The current debate over gay marriage got started because some people feel they should be able to regulate other people's lives as though the had the right to decide what someone else should believe. Even deeper than that is the need to classify, explain, understand, or interpret someone else, rather than just accept them for who they are. The true meanings of freedom and equality can strangely get lost in some attempts to defend them.